Ep 6: Why traditional goal setting doesn’t work for you

Episode 6 of the Good Girl Rebellion podcast.

Why Traditional Goal Setting Doesn’t Work for You: How to Set Goals That Actually Move You Forward

Episode 6 is all about L from our REBEL framework - Liberating Results.

A lot of women I work with are very successful on paper. They’ve achieved things, worked hard, hit goals and milestones. But when I ask them what they actually want, there’s often a bit of a pause.

And it’s an interesting one because on the surface, it feels like we should know. Of course, we know what we want. But when we really stop and think about it, sometimes it’s actually much harder to articulate than we expect.

I know this from my own experience too. I’ve always found it much easier to work towards goals and deadlines set by somebody else. Give me a target from a boss and I’ll work incredibly hard towards it. But when it comes to setting those goals for myself, suddenly things can start to feel a little bit more difficult to pin down. The deadlines become moveable; the goals feel harder to commit to. Decisions feel heavier somehow.

And I think there’s a reason for that.

Good girls are trained to achieve goals, not necessarily choose them

So many of us have spent years responding to expectations, delivering for other people and meeting externally set goals. We became very good at working hard, being responsible and getting things done.

But choosing for ourselves? Defining success for ourselves? That’s something entirely different.

When you work inside a company or for another person, there’s structure. There are deadlines and accountability. Someone else has already decided what success looks like and your role is to move towards it.

But when you build your own business, suddenly you have to decide on EVERYTHING:
What do I actually want?
What kind of life am I trying to create?
What matters most to me?

And honestly, that can feel surprisingly uncomfortable.

Why goals can feel heavy

I think this is why traditional goal setting doesn’t always work for good girl personalities. Sometimes goals can start to feel restrictive rather than motivating.

You write something down and suddenly it feels loaded with pressure. What if you fail? What if you choose the wrong thing? What if you succeed and everything changes? There can be a huge amount tied up in even quite simple decisions.

And I don’t actually think the issue is hard work - we already know how to work hard.

The harder part is often deciding what we genuinely want and allowing ourselves to move towards it.

Being busy and moving forwards are not always the same thing

One thing I see all the time, both in myself and in the women I work with, is this feeling of being constantly busy but not necessarily moving forward in a meaningful way.

You can spend the entire day doing admin, answering emails, tweaking your website, planning, researching, organising… and still avoid the bigger decisions that would actually move your business forward.

Sometimes busyness becomes a way of avoiding choosing because choosing means commitment. And commitment can feel vulnerable when there’s no external structure holding everything together for us.

Liberating results are about more than achievement

Of course results, income and growth all matter. I’m not pretending those things aren’t important.

But when I think about liberating results, what I’m really interested in is freedom, flexibility and fulfilment. I’m interested in building a business that supports your life rather than consuming it completely.

For me, success has become much more about things like:
having control over my time,
working in a way that suits my personality,
having space to create,
being able to work seasonally,
and building something around my values.

Because what’s the point of building a business if you just trap yourself in another version of burnout?

Success that disconnects you from yourself isn’t really success.

A gentler approach to goal setting

One thing that has helped me massively is moving away from rigid all-or-nothing goals and towards a ‘good, better, best’ approach.

So instead of one huge target that feels intimidating, I ask:
What would be a good result?
What would be a better result?
What would be the best result?

And for some reason, this works so much better for my brain. It creates direction without making me feel boxed in. It allows for flexibility while still helping me move forward.

I think sometimes we assume goals have to be very fixed and rigid to be effective, but actually many good girl personalities need a little more spaciousness than that.

You do not need one perfect outcome - you need movement.

Changing direction is not failure

Another important thing to remember is that goals evolve, priorities change and life happens.

Sometimes you realise halfway through, that the thing you thought you wanted isn’t actually right for you anymore. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’ve learned something.

Changing the timeline isn’t failure.
Adjusting the goal isn’t failure.
Choosing a different direction isn’t failure.

That’s part of building intentionally rather than accidentally.

What do you actually want?

I think this is the question underneath all of this.

What do you want your business to give you?

What kind of days do you want to have?
What kind of life are you trying to build?
What actually matters to you?

Because liberating results are not just about achieving more - they’re about building something that actually feels like yours.

Listen to the full episode

In this episode of the Good Girl Rebellion podcast, we’re talking about why traditional goal setting can feel difficult for good girl personalities and how to approach goals in a way that actually supports you rather than trapping you.

We explore external accountability, busy work versus meaningful work, quarterly planning, flexible goal setting and what it really means to define success on your own terms.

Listen to Episode 6 on the links below.

This is the final solo episode in the REBEL framework series and it brings together so many of the themes we’ve explored throughout the podcast so far.

It’s time.